One of the biggest differences between introverts and extroverts is how they react to stress.

Some people don’t understand how introverts react to stress. Because of this, they think that all introverts are “neurotic” or mentally ill. Let me explain why this is a misperception.

When extroverts are stressed they “act out”. They may smoke, drink, yell and scream, throw a punch, stomp around or generally raise the roof. Although this behavior is difficult and even obnoxious, it is not considered “mentally ill”.

When introverts are stressed, they withdraw. They do this to recharge their batteries, not because they are neurotic. Introverts need time alone to bring order back into their inner world. They give energy to others and receive energy when alone.

Let’s look at some of the things that can stress introverts.

• Introverts are territorial. Someone cannot take your seat, move your stuff, lean on your desk, ignore your closed door or borrow your clothes without making you very angry.

• Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. If denied time alone, you may become irritable and depressed.

• Introverts value privacy. When your boundaries are disregarded, when someone has a loud personal conversation on their cell phone in your captive presence, such as waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store, you can be annoyed and offended.

• Introverts fear failure in public and experience deep humiliation because of it. If the teacher grabs you for a demonstration of a new skill or your spouse puts you on the spot to put a bicycle together it can be extremely stressful.

• Introverts prefer to communicate in writing. They may feel exhausted by too much verbal communication that “isn’t going anywhere”. Introverts hate small talk.

• Introverts like to be prepared. If rushed to present a solution or opinion, they may be extremely uncomfortable and sometimes refuse to do so at all.

What are some of the ways that introverts restore balance?

• Introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for optimal good health

• Introverts love long trips, walks in nature and usually enjoy the company of animals. These activities restore their peace of mind and equilibrium.

• Introverts give energy when they are with people and need to be alone to recharge their batteries.

• Introverts need a room of their own with a door that closes.

• Introverts need to give themselves permission to communicate via email or in writing and to ignore a ringing phone (get a good answering machine).

• Decision making should take place without time pressure if possible. Introverts like to be prepared!

• Introverts hate surprises. It's natural to try and control your own world as much as possible ... learn to let the rest of it go!

If you’re an introvert, it’s important to understand your natural reactions to stress and what you can do to restore your equilibrium. Retreats into self are neither neurotic nor mentally ill. They are a natural restorative to introverts.

• Is a natural realist, organizer, task oriented person
• Is normally quite serious about most things
• Is very good at remembering facts, data, has wonderful memory for detail
• Is very matter-of-fact, down-to-earth with great common sense
• Is usually very skeptical about things, if they have not seen it, heard it, tasted it, smelled it, touched it….they don’t believe it…period
• Is usually quite empathic and feeling in approach to EVERYTHING
• Is going to see a task through to completion
• Probably possesses one of the most powerful “work ethic” of all the types
• Is normally difficult to distract….unless stressed too much
• Will work systematically….well prefers to work this way

The ISFJ way is natural, instinctive, beautiful, created to be this way.

Mottos Are Fun

For the ISFJ these mottos or things to put on their battle flag might be: “Work Hard, Then Play”, “If It Works, Why Change It”, “On My Honor, I Will Do My Duty”, to name a few.

Let us make another list of personality traits, ISFJs:

• Are reasoning and making decisions with natural/instinctive feeling & emotion
• Are frequently personally warm and can be friendly-minded
• Will have difficulty (sometimes great difficulty) not factoring in other people’s “feelings” in a decision making situation
• Usually want decisions to be fair and very objective
• Will be more naturally “people” oriented not “thing” oriented when getting things done
• Is a natural for remembering and VALUING birthdays, ceremonies, anniversaries, holidays, weddings, TRADITION, institutions
• Has a clear idea of what is good and bad, right and wrong

  Now, my friend, the ISFJ not only behaves in the above manner…THEY NATURALLY EXPECT EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THE SAME!!

  So, what happens when they see that many others do not behave that way?? (only 10-13% of America’s population is this type) Answer: Different levels of stress, confusion, irritation, etc.; typically nothing this type can’t handle. So, this is a NATURAL reaction on the part of this type, they are not doing anything wrong.

  More Stuff The ISFJ:

  • In relationships, are loyal want evenhandedness and honesty
  • In relationships, are quiet, laid back, serious
  • In relationships, they will show an “original” sense of humor
  • In relationships, can be very sensitive to the feelings or others, are sympathetic and considerate
  • In relationships, although people of few word, they are extremely concerned with intimate matters, naturally presenting deep concern
  • Are good work team/team members, though laid-back

  Under Stress The ISFJ:

  • May become even less Introverted and more Extraverted, and verbally “attack”
  • May really drive themselves way too much and work to collapse
  • May become inflexible with rules, restrictions
  • May internalize all their tensions (particularly back of neck and shoulders
  • May become very glum and negative with a fearful view of the future in a conceptual way

ISFJs are committed to their relationships. They have very intense feelings, which is not immediately apparent to others because they tend to hold things inside themselves without expressing them, unless they have a strong reason to do so. Their intensity of feeling makes their intimate relationship their first priority in life, with the possible exception of God. They seek monogamous, lifelong commitments, and can be depended upon to be faithful and loyal to their mates once they have made a commitment.

ISFJs have a difficult time leaving a relationship which is bad, or accepting that a relationship is over. They tend to put all of the blame on their own shoulders, and wonder what they should have done to make things work out. If they have been loyal to their vows and have done their duties, they will be at a complete loss as to what went wrong, and will have great difficulty accepting the end. They are "true blue" lovers, and may even remain faithful to their deceased partners.

ISFJs tend to be very selfless, and to put the needs of others well before their own needs. This may backfire on them, if they get into a situation in which they are taken advantage of, and do not have a good outlet for their strong emotions. In this kind of situation, the ISFJ might bottle up their feelings inside them, and form strong resentments against others. The ISFJ should work on recognizing their own needs, and place some importance on meeting them, rather than always putting the needs of others first. After all, if you can't take care of yourself, how can take care of someone else?

Romantically, the ISFJ sees intimacy as a tangible way of strengthening their relationship bonds. They also see as something of a duty, and are likely to be more interested in serving their partner than in their own personal satisfaction. Although the ISFJ is not likely to be very wordy about expressing their love and affection, they're likely to do so through their deeds, and will deeply value their partner's responding affirmations.

The ISFJ is very warm and selfless. They'll put forth tremendous amounts of energy and time into doing what they feel is ther duty. What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation.

ISFJs have difficulty with conflict situations, and would much prefer to just sweep things under the rug. Sometimes facing a conflict situation helps to resolve it, and the ISFJ should realize that the world will not end if they face the conflict, and express how they feel about it. A conflict situation is not necessarily a "problem" which needs to be gotten rid of, and it is also not necessarily the ISFJ's fault. It's a common problem for ISFJ's to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn't have said. These kinds of outbursts can be reduced by expressing their feelings on a more regular basis, rather than keeping them pent up inside.

In general, the ISFJ is usually a traditional, family-minded individual who places the comfort of their mates and families as their first priority in life. They're great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types. They highly invested in the health of their relationships, and will work very hard to make things run smoothly. They are dependable and affectionate lovers.

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)

ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.

1) Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.

·                     Unwillingness to forgive perceived insults

·                     Excessive sensitivity to setbacks

·                     Distrustfulness and excessive self-reliance

·                     Projection of blame onto others

·                     Consumed by anticipation of betrayal

·                     Combative and tenacious adherence to personal rights

·                     Relentlessly suspicious

4) A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. Antisocial tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often aggressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

·                     Disregard for the feelings of others

·                     Impulsive and irresponsible decision-making

·                     Lack of remorse for harm done to others

·                     Lying, stealing, other criminal behaviors

·                     Disregard for the safety of self and others

6) People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

·                     Needs to be the center of attention

·                     Dresses or acts provocatively

·                     Rapidly-shifting and shallow emotions

·                     Exaggerates friendships

·                     Overly-dramatic, occassionally theatrical speech

·                     easily influenced; highly suggestible

8) Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. Avoidants are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidants yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

·                     Social inhibition; retreating from others in anticipation of rejection

·                     Preoccupation with being rejected or criticized in social situations

·                     Fear of embarrassment results in avoidance of new activities

·                     Poor self-image; feelings of social ineptitude

·                     Social inhibition; retreating from others in anticipation of rejection

·                     Preoccupation with being rejected or criticized in social situations

·                     Fear of embarrassment results in avoidance of new activities

·                     Poor self-image; feelings of social ineptitude

·                     Desire for improved social relations

·                     Appear to others as self-involved and unfriendly

·                     Creation of elaborate fantasy lives

9) Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. Dependents often remain in abusive relationships. Over-sensitivity to disapproval is common. Dependents often feel helpless and depressed.

·                     Difficulty making decisions

·                     Feelings of helplessness when alone

·                     Suicidal thoughts upon rejection

·                     Submissiveness

·                     Deeply hurt by mild criticism or disapproval

·                     Unable to meet ordinary demands of life